On Observing Myself


I took the photo you see above several months ago.

Isn’t it funny how you’ll sometimes take a photograph of something that catches your eye, but you’re not quite sure has to WHY you were drawn to take it?

Later, a life experience happens to you, and then you look at the photo again and suddenly realize that it perfectly matches the way you feel while having that life experience, after you took the photo.

And then it dawns on you that the image was precognitive of a lesson you were about to learn – again.

I’m sharing this post as a reminder to myself.

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In the past, I’ve written about the ebb and flow of life, and the importance of embracing and accepting them regardless of how challenging they are. However, even though I know and believe this I still find myself at times struggling.

And a perfect example of this is what just transpired with my mother.

I think it may be because of both the actor and writer in me that I can experience something, and at the same time stand to the side; watching me experience it.

I’m an observer. My natural tendency is to have an experience, and then automatically go into my ‘observation mode’, taking note of how I’m reacting to it. I believe that many of us who are artistic and creative have this ability because as an artist, we develop a ‘third eye’ that allows us to recreate the experience in detail through our art – whether it be acting, photography, painting, dance, or writing.

We artists often use our ‘life experiences’ to create our art.

And we do that through observation and feeling.

For the past few weeks, I’ve been observing myself, noticing how I react when my life or the life of someone I love, unexpectantly takes a turn down a path of the unknown.

I initially panic, because I suddenly feel out of control. My mind immediately starts projecting into the future; thinking of what might take place and how I’m going to handle it. Thoughts of the worst case scenarios creep into my mind.

Although, I inevitably realize that I can’t think myself through it, I have to live myself through it.

After I heard of my mothers’ diagnosis, I did in fact, panic. I worried for her, and in all honesty I worried for myself. Then several days later, I realized that in order for me to be of the most valuable help to both my mother and I, I needed to center myself and begin focusing on the light. And that’s not easy while you’re listening to someone over the phone struggle to breathe and talk.

Yet, after I began to focus on the light, everything seemed to fall into place. I found myself stronger, calmer, and more able to support my mother much better. I suddenly knew what to say and do, when I needed to say and do it.

Going through a challenging experience is very much like the photo above. It’s as if you’re walking down a dark alleyway. You can see a light at the end, but you’re not quite sure as to how you’re going to get to it.

So you just keep walking, allowing the journey to teach you what you need to learn.

And for me, it’s usually about my ability to surrender and have faith; trusting that I will have the means to move through it.

Realistically, I know that I can’t always control what happens in the way of life experiences, nor can I always be sure of the outcome. But I do know that if I accept and embrace them, even though it may seem dark at times, I will be always be supported and guided by light.

Always.



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Note: When I spoke to my mother over the weekend, she wanted me to convey to all of you how much she appreciated the prayers and light you sent her during a very dark and scary time. And she believes without a shadow of doubt, that it’s what carried her through. I’m happy to report that she’s doing miraculously well. So, THANK YOU from my mother.....X

50 comments

  1. la skjødtMarch 26, 2012

    hi ron, this photo is so evocative of these moments when we find ourselves walking into the dark without any idea of how/where/why we are walking nor what is on the other side.. a scary time.

    i am thrilled she is doing so well and pray she continues to improve. don't forget to keep us up to date, k? i am glad you are doing so well and have such a profound perspective on life as the observer. i am a reactive tho a creative...i do not watch and wait and THINK...bad bad bad but it is what i do and know it and perhaps by knowing, i understand myself enough to deal with difficult things as i know best for me. i think in the end we are all different creatures and all situations themselves, tho similar will be different too... it makes the world rich and beautiful even in the pain.

    much love my friend...xoxoxo and thank you for you kind comment on the new blog...it's nice to see a few old friends from blogger and hope soon more come. ;) xoxo

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  2. SO GLAD to hear your mother is in a good place right now, mentally and physically, Ron! Your photo and post are great reminders of the trials we face and what it takes to get to the light. Have a week full of light, Ron! XO

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  3. Hi Ronnie,

    First off, I am giving a hug to you, Ron's Mom:
    ((((((((( Mom)))))))

    I have been in your son's shoes when my Dad had cancer. So, I was not only one of the physical caregivers, but a love giver also. Its only normal that I pass some of this light.

    Ron- You wrote such a meaningful post today. My heart goes out to you again.
    I react strongly to your photograph. Not only as a fellow photographer but as a human being.
    That was Ronnie going through the dark to the light in that alley...

    Like I said to you on the phone, no one can teach us how to react in adversity. Each of us has to find our own light. May it be prayer,meditation,or whatever helps us to cope and connect with what you feel. To just feel and not observing yourself feeling or doing... One on one.

    Big hugs and keep the fire burning
    xoxo

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  4. I've always believed that having hope and looking for the light in any situation helps. If you think dark things will usually be dark.

    I'm so pleased to hear that you Mum is doing well. I'll continue to keep her in my thoughts and prayers and send Reiki. x

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  5. I'm very glad to hear that your mother is doing so well. x

    I like the photo you took alot, although, I have to say that last night I watched 'The Exorcist' and that one scene where Father Merrin is getting out of the car late at night and the house/street light shows his dark form. So what does that say?? You're faithfully walking towards the light and I need a priest and an exorcism??? OMG! I don't think I like my observation. haha!

    Seriously though, I can appreciate how you are able to take all of the individual parts of a situation and create a total experience that you can understand and have faith in. Many people aren't able to do that. One friend of my hubby's comes to mind. He constantly recreates the negative parts of his life over and over again and instead of resolving one thing and moving on, he just adds to it. There was a long period of time that they didn't speak and when Ron got back in touch with him recently he found that not much had changed.

    Of course, we all feel some degree of difficulty with some of life's experiences.
    I tend to get hung up on one part of something I'm going through and it takes a little awhile to have that ah-ha moment. But there is support and guidance there for all of us, like you said, we just have to surrender and have trust that all will be okay.

    Enjoy the cool winds today. And have an awesome week!

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  6. Rob LenihanMarch 26, 2012

    Fabulous post, Ron. Thank you so much for sharing your insights and experiences. The only way to get through the darkness is to walk toward the light. And when you see the light, you can also be the light, illuminating the way for others. I wish all the best to you and your mom. Take care, buddy, stay in the light, and have a great week!

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  7. Good morning Linda~

    "this photo is so evocative of these moments when we find ourselves walking into the dark without any idea of how/where/why we are walking nor what is on the other side.. a scary time."

    Exactly.

    I've had this photo on my computer for a few months now, waiting to find a time when I could share it on my photo blog. But then last week as I was looking at it, I suddenly realized how it evoked what I was feeling several weeks ago pertaining to my mother and her illness. Thus, I shared the photo here. I thought it was perfect for this post.

    Thank you. Yes, my mother is doing amazingly well for how sick she was two weeks ago. That was so scary stuff. And yes, I will be sure to keep you guys updated.

    "i am a reactive tho a creative...i do not watch and wait and THINK...bad bad bad but it is what i do and know it and perhaps by knowing, i understand myself enough to deal with difficult things as i know best for me. i think in the end we are all different creatures and all situations themselves, tho similar will be different too... it makes the world rich and beautiful even in the pain."

    I love how you said that and can also identify. I too am a reactive tho creative, but for some reason I can also stand back and watch myself reacting to an experience; remembering the details. It's almost like being the participant AND the observer all at once.

    Thank you so much for stopping by, dear friend. I so enjoy your new blog. I'm glad that everything worked out moving your blog over to Wordpress!

    Have a wonderful week!

    ((((( Linda )))))

    xoxoxoxo

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  8. First of all, let me say, that is a beautiful photograph Ron!

    When we first get hit with something awful, we think we won't be able to get through it. We always do, and usually having learned something new about life and ourselves. We seem to find an inner strength that we didn't know we had.

    I am so glad your mother is doing well, and pray that she continues to improve.

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  9. Hey there Bijoux~

    Thank you, my friend. And thank you for your concern and well-wishes for my mother.

    It's funny how sometimes a photograph will reflect an experience that's going on in our lives. And this one did for me.

    Have a grrrrrrrrrrreat week! And thanks for stopping by!

    XO

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  10. Good morning Akelamalu~

    "I've always believed that having hope and looking for the light in any situation helps. If you think dark things will usually be dark."

    Exactly.

    It's one thing to embrace the dark; discovering the light. But it's another thing to only focus in the dark.

    Thank you so much for keeping my mother in your thoughts and prayers, and also for sending Reiki. I KNOW it's helping!

    (((((( You )))))))

    Have a lovely week, m'dear!

    X

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  11. Bonjour Barb~

    Thanks for the MOM hug and supportive words, my friend! My mother is gonna love reading that!

    Yes, I reacted strongly to the photograph too, only I didn't see the meaning in it until later. I truly believe my 'psyche' must have been picking up on something at the time.

    "Like I said to you on the phone, no one can teach us how to react in adversity. Each of us has to find our own light. May it be prayer,meditation,or whatever helps us to cope and connect with what you feel. To just feel and not observing yourself feeling or doing... One on one."

    Yes, I do remember you saying that on the phone. And you're right...each of us finds our own way to the light. It's odd, because I can both feel and observe myself simultaneously. It's like a birds-eye view. Perhaps it's a coping mechanism.

    Thanks so much for stopping by, Barb. And thank you for your support!

    ((((( You )))))

    Have a wonderful week.....xoxo

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  12. Gooooo moring Mary~

    Thank you. And thank you for all the Reiki you've sent her because it really helped, she could feel it!

    "So what does that say?? You're faithfully walking towards the light and I need a priest and an exorcism??? OMG! I don't think I like my observation. haha!"

    Bwhahahahhahahahahaha! OMG, how hilarious! But, you're right...the photo does resemble that scene from The Exorcist!!!!!

    "I can appreciate how you are able to take all of the individual parts of a situation and create a total experience that you can understand and have faith in. Many people aren't able to do that."

    I truly think it's probably both a coping mechanism and a way of understanding an experience. Honestly, the theme of this blog (my life as a movie, and each moment of series of takes) is exactly how I see my life. Each experience I have is a moment (a take), to learn from.

    "Of course, we all feel some degree of difficulty with some of life's experiences. I tend to get hung up on one part of something I'm going through and it takes a little awhile to have that ah-ha moment. But there is support and guidance there for all of us, like you said, we just have to surrender and have trust that all will be okay."

    I do the same thing. I also get hung up on one part of something I'm going through. Like I shared, I STILL struggle, because I FEAR. But it's as you shared...we just have to surrender and have trust that it will be okay; finding the light. Having this blog has been the best therapy for me because it allows me to write my feelings out; seeing them more clearly.

    Thanks so much for stopping by, neighbor. I always enjoy your comments!

    Have an AWESOME week.....X

    P.S. can you believe the WIND today?!?! I'm lovin' these cooler temps.!

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  13. Hey there Rob~

    You are so welcome, and thank YOU! I was feeling a bit reflective this weekend, thus this post.

    "The only way to get through the darkness is to walk toward the light. And when you see the light, you can also be the light, illuminating the way for others."

    You're so right! I once had a spiritual teacher say, that in order to get to the light, we have to have to embrace the dark. And he was so correct.

    "I wish all the best to you and your mom."

    Thank you, buddy! Have a SUPER week!

    X

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  14. Love the photos and yes, that is how it happens sometimes. Still praying for you both. Hoping all will continue to go well. Love and hugs to you dear friend.

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  15. Gooood morning Babs~

    Aw...thank you, my friend. At the time, I had no idea why I even took that photo. Now I know.

    "We always do, and usually having learned something new about life and ourselves. We seem to find an inner strength that we didn't know we had."

    I so agree! Yet, it's as you shared...when we first get hit with something awful, we think we won't be able to get through it. The fear is sometimes paralyzing, isn't it?

    "I am so glad your mother is doing well, and pray that she continues to improve."

    (((( Babs )))))

    Thank you, my friend. Wishing you a beautiful week. Thanks for stopping by!

    Much X to you and Mo!

    P.S. just wanted to let you know that I got your post update on my reader, so it must be working again! I will be by sometime this afternoon for a read!

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  16. Morn'in Peg~

    Thank you for your prayers, love, and hugs, dear friend!

    (((( You ))))

    Have a great week. And thank you for stopping by!

    X

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  17. that happens to me all the time with photographs! You're exactly right, you have to live yourself through it...it's the only way to get through many things with a sense of peace. Hugs and prayers.

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  18. Years ago when my life seemed to have no answers a friend said to me, 'You see, now there is light at the end of the tunnel.' She was right, and I've never forgotten it because there is ALWAYS light at the end of a dark patch. There has to be, it's just that not everyone can see it. Thankfully you can, my friend.
    I am so pleased, no, I am elated that your mother is doing well. God bless her. I shall continue to send positive thoughts her way - and yours. Happy Monday, the start of a trouble free week.

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  19. Hey there Suzi~

    "that happens to me all the time with photographs!"

    I KNEW you would understand what I meant!

    "you have to live yourself through it...it's the only way to get through many things with a sense of peace."

    You're right. And through living it, you're guided to the peace.

    Thanks so much for your hugs and prayers, my friend!

    (((( You ))))

    Have a faaaaaabulous week....X

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  20. Good morning Valerie~

    "Years ago when my life seemed to have no answers a friend said to me, 'You see, now there is light at the end of the tunnel.' She was right, and I've never forgotten it because there is ALWAYS light at the end of a dark patch."

    Your friend was so right. I had heard that expression so many times, but never fully understood it until I had dark times. In order to know light, we have to experience dark.

    "I am so pleased, no, I am elated that your mother is doing well. God bless her. I shall continue to send positive thoughts her way - and yours."

    (((( You ))))

    Thank you, dear lady.

    Happy Monday to ya.......X

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  21. Definitely looks like a healing light at the end of a dark tunnel. I'd take that as a positive sign, my friend.

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  22. Thank you, Mark!

    And thanks for stopping by, buddy! Have a faaaaaaabulous Monday!

    X

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  23. Have you ever just stared at a photo and the words that accompany it.....and just kept staring? I've done that for a good 30 minutes or so. Maybe it's the circumstances in front of me, today. See, the sister gets to come home today--and I'm soooo grateful for that. I'm grateful that they've removed the cancer from that site, even if it meant the loss of speech and the inability to eat. We have more opportunities to love her while we have her.
    But reality sucks--cancer sucks.......and there's more to struggle through with radiation and chemotherapy. It'll claim her. And like you, there's anger and grief and panic. I have difficulty wrapping my head around the realities.
    I came here, caught up a bit while I wait for her return.....and read this, saw this.... And I've sat and stared and had a good cry or two.....or three.......

    'I'm so sorry.' seem so weak and inadequate, Ron.
    I cannot, for whatever reason, put the words together to tell you how my heart hurts for you....and for me cuz I'm a selfish snot and I have to own that it wasn't all about you and your mom. Some of it was about me and the sister.

    Miracles happen. Every day. There's been so many happening around this ordeal with the sister, I can't even list them all. But they're not the miracle I WANT.
    I don't want to lose her.

    I'm going to.

    There's my selfish, demanding, I WANT WHAT I WANT 'truth'.
    Pretty human of me, huh?
    Probably........ It doesn't matter that it's 'pretty human', or selfish in my demands of what the miracle should look like-- it matters that the end result will still be the same.
    Cancer will win.
    I'll lose.
    We'll lose.

    I know I ought to be simply be gracious--grateful that I get to have what I have today.
    After all, she's coming home.
    We'll snuggle on the couch and get some laughing and loving in.
    Those are good things--and I promise I will take every moment I get today and just breathe it in and let my heart soar for what I DO get to have.
    I won't get stupidly angry that I don't get to keep those moments going forever......even though I desperately want to keep 'em going forever. It'll diminish what I get today. I don't wanna do that.
    I don't want you to do that either. But it's tough to feel what you feel and NOT do that at the same time.

    You know I'll pray. It's just what I do.
    Tell her how loved she is, eh?
    And know you're loved beyond beyond.

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  24. Hello dearest Mel~

    Okay, first, I gotta give ya a hug...

    (((((( YOU ))))))))

    And second, yes, I have sometimes stared at a photo and the words that accompanied it and just kept staring, so I know what you mean and how you feel.

    "'I'm so sorry.' seem so weak and inadequate, Ron.
    I cannot, for whatever reason, put the words together to tell you how my heart hurts for you....and for me cuz I'm a selfish snot and I have to own that it wasn't all about you and your mom. Some of it was about me and the sister."

    When I found out about my mothers diagnosis, a few weeks after you found out your sisters, I too was at lose of words sometimes when I would come to your blog because I had no idea what to say because I was going through the same thing. So I totally understand, dear lady. TOTALLY. Sometimes there are simply are no words to convey how we feel.

    It's odd, because even though I've lost both my biological mother and father to cancer, and MANY other family members, I don't feel angry about this, I feel more frighten and sad about the possibility of losing my mother. I mean we all die, I realize that, but it's still frightening and sad, thinking about not having her in my life. And I also don't want her to suffer, I can't bare that. Yet, there is a tiny little voice inside me that keeps saying, "Don't you worry, Ron, we'll take good care of her." So I have to trust.

    This is such a tough thing to go through, isn't it Mel? It's the in between part that's the most challenging for me. The part in between celebrating that she's well right now, and the part that sometimes projects and worries into the future. Which is yet, ANOTHER lesson I'm always learning....to live in the NOW...the MOMENT. But you're right, it ain't easy.

    "You know I'll pray. It's just what I do.
    Tell her how loved she is, eh?
    And know you're loved beyond beyond."

    And ditto to you, my dear Libra friend!

    Knowing you're loved beyond beyond!

    (((((( You )))))))

    +

    ((((( Your sister )))))

    Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your honest thoughts and feelings on this post.

    X ya bunches!!!!!!!!!!!

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  25. ...What a great post my friend! Perfection! And so is that photo too btw. :o)

    ...I tend to do that same as you, panic. That's always been my initial reaction and it's only been that since I've gotten older that I can curtail that reaction a little. I can feel myself wanting to go into panic mode but I tell myself to just stop. It's hard tho'.

    ...I'm so glad to hear you're at a better place and that your Mom is too. It is better for both you and her when you can think things thru calmly and rationally. Not to mention, it's better for your health. You got to take care of you before you can help her so be sure you're getting lots o' rest and eating right too, 'kay? ;o)

    ..."...allows us to recreate the experience in detail through our art..." - Oh dear. *shudders* :o\ *giggle*

    ...I think of you & your Mom every day and I always say a little prayer that everything is going to be alright. Keep us posted 'kay? :o)

    ..."Hi Ron's Mom!" *waving*

    ...x's & o's to you dear Ron! :o)

    ...Blessings too.

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  26. Hey there TJ~

    Thank you, dear lady. I was feeling a bit reflective this weekend after I viewed that photo, thus this post.

    "...I tend to do that same as you, panic. That's always been my initial reaction and it's only been that since I've gotten older that I can curtail that reaction a little. I can feel myself wanting to go into panic mode but I tell myself to just stop. It's hard tho'."

    Yes, it is hard, I agree with you a 100%. I thank God that I have Reiki in my life because it's what keeps me grounded and centered.

    " It is better for both you and her when you can think things thru calmly and rationally. "

    Amen! And yes, I am taking good care of myself. Actually, I feel quite well and calm after the stress I experienced two weeks ago. This post is simply a reminder to myself. It felt good writing this out - very therapeutic.

    "..."...allows us to recreate the experience in detail through our art..." - Oh dear. *shudders* :o\ *giggle*"

    The actor/writer (drama) in me always thinks in terms of being able to recreate the experience if I ever need it as sense memory - HA!

    "...I think of you & your Mom every day and I always say a little prayer that everything is going to be alright. Keep us posted 'kay? :o)"

    Aw...thank you from the bottom of my heart for that! And my mom does too!

    ((((( You ))))

    Always such a delight to read your comments, TJ. I know I've shared this with you before, but I'll share it again....I am soooooo glad we met!

    Have a beautiful week!

    X's & O's to you too!

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  27. Herman TurnipMarch 26, 2012

    It's *great* to hear that your mother is doing much better. It takes a strong personality to be able to center yourself in the midst of chaos. Here's hoping that I have *half* of your gumption when our aging cat decides to depart this mortal coil.

    And that photo...wow! Man, that pic is amazing. It's funny how sometimes the thing that fleetingly comes easy tends to stand out upon re-examination. This pic is a perfect example. It deserves to be a poster!

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  28. Ron, I loved this post. So introspective and deep. It's odd how challenging and difficult experiences quite often teach us the most about ourselves and life - if we just allow ourselves to embrace them. Hard for sure, but much better than only focusing on the darkness.

    Great photo too! Glad to hear that your mother is doing so well. I'm so happy!

    Have a wonderful week, Ron!

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  29. Howdy Herman~

    Aw...thank you, buddy. I'm so grateful that my mother is doing so well. We were ALL very scared there for awhile. This experience, as hard as it was at the beginning, has taught me a lot. And am sure it will teach me more.

    "Here's hoping that I have *half* of your gumption when our aging cat decides to depart this mortal coil."

    OMG, I soooooooooooooo know what you mean because I was MESS when I lost my cats. And I know this sounds HORRIBLE, but I was more a mess with them passing away than I was with some people I know who passed. I had both those cats for 19 years, so it was hard to say goodbye.

    "It's funny how sometimes the thing that fleetingly comes easy tends to stand out upon re-examination. This pic is a perfect example."

    You're absolutely right. I got chills when I looked at this photo and then put two and two together!

    Thanks so much for stopping by and for your supportive words. Really appreciate that!

    Have a faaaaaaaaaaabulous week!

    X to you and the family!

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  30. Hola Denise~

    Thank you. Glad you enjoyed. I had another post planned for today, but yesterday I suddenly got inspired to share this one.

    "It's odd how challenging and difficult experiences quite often teach us the most about ourselves and life - if we just allow ourselves to embrace them. Hard for sure, but much better than only focusing on the darkness."

    Amen. And it's like you shared...it can be hard, especially as you're going through it - to see the light.

    Yes, my mother is doing well and very upbeat. I swear to god, she's handling this much better than any of us. She's such a trooper!

    Thanks so much for stopping by, girl. Always a delight to see your comments.

    Have a super-duper week!

    X

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  31. the light at the end of the tunnel
    I often joke that it's an oncoming train
    that's my immediate reaction to stress or tragedy or worry - sarcasm and humor
    I have learned to push that wall aside and use it wisely and to let real emotions in and out
    I think a lot of it has to do with deliberately deciding to always stay in the moment

    I love your heart and soul and spirit Ron
    and I always get something wonderful from your posts

    Hugs to you from me and Hope
    and extended hugs to Mom
    I'm so glad she's doing well

    Oh - the photo is amazing!! I would be surprised you didn't share it on your photo blog before this but I know it was intended to be shared today and the universe knew that

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  32. Gooooood morning Lady Dianne~

    "the light at the end of the tunnel
    I often joke that it's an oncoming train
    that's my immediate reaction to stress or tragedy or worry - sarcasm and humor"

    Ha! And that's exactly what it feels like....an oncoming train. Isn't it something how HUMOR swoops in and helps us to cope? I react the same way sometimes.

    "I have learned to push that wall aside and use it wisely and to let real emotions in and out
    I think a lot of it has to do with deliberately deciding to always stay in the moment."

    You GO, girl! That's truly the most healthy way to deal - staying in moment, which is something I try to always do but struggle with at times.

    "Hugs to you from me and Hope
    and extended hugs to Mom
    I'm so glad she's doing well"

    Thank you, dear lady. Thank you so much!

    (((((( You and Hope ))))))

    "I would be surprised you didn't share it on your photo blog before this but I know it was intended to be shared today and the universe knew that."

    It's funny because I kept hesitating to share this photo on my other blog, because something was telling me to wait. I'm glad I did because it was much better suited for this post.

    Thank you so much for stopping by and for your lovingly supportive words. You're such a PAL, and I appreciate that!

    Have a fantabulous week!

    X ya!

    P.S. Isn't this cooler weather AWESOME? I keep hoping it will SNOW one more time before Summer - NOT!

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  33. Pamela D HartMarch 27, 2012

    Ron, what a great photo. It depicts what so many of us go through in life—walking thru the darkness to get to the light.

    I’ve had to do that, and at times it seemed as though the darkness was forever! Now, though, I feel like I’m in the light and on occasion it gets a bit dim.

    Life can’t constantly be light though because we’ll always have ordeals so it’s all in HOW we “observe” them and what we learn.

    ((you))

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  34. Hey there Pamela~

    Thank you. Glad you enjoyed the photo.

    "Life can’t constantly be light though because we’ll always have ordeals so it’s all in HOW we “observe” them and what we learn."

    I LOVE how you said that! You're absolutely correct...it's ALL in HOW we 'observe' them! And if we didn't have a bit a dark, we wouldn't know light.

    Thanks a bunch for stopping by, my friend. And thank you for sending in a photo, I just got it, and LOVE it!!!!!

    Have a terrific week......X

    (((( You )))))

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  35. Ron,

    I can relate to this post on SO MANY levels it's insane. I nodded my head the whole way through reading this. I could copy/paste 99%!

    But the biggest thing I related to is this part:

    "I initially panic, because I suddenly feel out of control. My mind immediately starts projecting into the future; thinking of what might take place and how I’m going to handle it. Thoughts of the worst case scenarios creep into my mind."

    Yep. 100%

    I need to learn how to focus on the light. And how to become calmer, but instilling faith & trust.

    I am beyond happy your mother is doing so well right now. I will keep praying for her. And you.

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  36. Hey there Meleah~

    "I need to learn how to focus on the light. And how to become calmer, but instilling faith & trust."

    Meeeee too, my friend! Which is why I wrote this post as a reminder to myself. To know it in the 'brain' is one thing, but to 'practice' it while going through it is the challenge.

    We Libra's can be very emotion can't we? But there's a part of me that actually likes that about us, because at least we let it out.

    "I am beyond happy your mother is doing so well right now. I will keep praying for her. And you.''

    MUCHO thanks, girl!

    (((( You )))))

    Have a faaaaaaabulous week! Hope all is going well with your book!

    X

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  37. Oh, I love your mom, without really knowing her, but I do.

    "Keep going through"... yes, I adored every single word in this post. Just keeping on, going ahead no matter what. Panic lurking... yep, yet being brave and believing. That is what I will do. Now and when the tough time comes.

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  38. Bonjour Susu~

    "Oh, I love your mom, without really knowing her, but I do."

    Aw...thank you! And I'm not just saying this because she's my mother, but everyone who meets her loves her. She just has a warm, friendly, and open sense about her that people are drawn to.

    ""Keep going through"... yes, I adored every single word in this post. Just keeping on, going ahead no matter what. Panic lurking... yep, yet being brave and believing. That is what I will do. Now and when the tough time comes."

    (((( You )))))

    Thank for your supportive words, my friend. I really appreciate it!

    And thank you for stopping by. Hope you're having a chic and stylish week, beautiful lady!

    Ciao.....X

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  39. your message sounds to me like a retelling of psalm 23. and I think perhaps your photograph is a perfect metaphor. I cannot tell you Ron how much circumstances such as this cause me to wrestle with my faith. While prayer seems inadequate, it is in fact the only thing I can offer of value. In the place where I work, a cancer center, many of the medical professionals hold the power of prayer to be a sacred and healing thing. I heard a doctor tell a story about a group of surgical nurses who hold a prayer circle every day to pray for their patients. He, himself, was one of the patients for whom they prayed and it touched him deeply. I lift my heart to humbly ask God to gently carry your mother and to offer peace and wisdom to all around her. May God bless.

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  40. Hey there Diane~

    I cannot thank you enough for sharing your thoughtful and beautiful comment.

    " I cannot tell you Ron how much circumstances such as this cause me to wrestle with my faith. While prayer seems inadequate, it is in fact the only thing I can offer of value."

    You're right, it's times like these that do cause us to wrestle with faith, believe me, I know what you mean.

    And yes, I do believe in the power of prayer, whether it be traditional prayer, good thoughts, or energy. To me, it's all the same because it comes from the same place. Light!

    "I heard a doctor tell a story about a group of surgical nurses who hold a prayer circle every day to pray for their patients. He, himself, was one of the patients for whom they prayed and it touched him deeply."

    Oh, how TOUCHING!

    " I lift my heart to humbly ask God to gently carry your mother and to offer peace and wisdom to all around her. May God bless."

    (((( You ))))

    Thank you, dear friend. Thank you for your support and love.

    Hope you're having an awesome week!

    Much X to you and Cristybella!

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  41. whenpigsflyMarch 28, 2012

    That photograph is amazing. I'm always taken back by how much an image can convey on so many levels. I've been thinking of you often this past week. You are a very centered and grounded person. I know that doesn't mean that something as life changing as this doesn't throw you for a loop. But, I have so much confidence that you can summon the strength to bring you through this. Keep writing and creating. I have to remind myself of this. It's what helps during these times along with connecting with others. Hugs!

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  42. SO glad to hear your mother is doing well! Continuing to send positive energy! As for the lesson here I think it really is a valuable one! Too often we try to take control of our life rather than learn from what it has to teach us. Awesome post Ronnie!

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  43. Hey there Jen~

    (((( Jen )))))

    Thank you so much for your supportive and kind words, dear friend.

    And thank you for your thoughts. My family and I REALLY appreciate them.

    "You are a very centered and grounded person. I know that doesn't mean that something as life changing as this doesn't throw you for a loop."

    Honestly? It's my spiritual beliefs that help me stay centered and grounded. But the 'human' part of me always struggles. I guess that's where 'faith' comes in.

    Again, thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your support.

    Hope you're having a faaaaaaaabulous week!

    X ya!

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  44. Greetings Shae~

    "As for the lesson here I think it really is a valuable one! Too often we try to take control of our life rather than learn from what it has to teach us."

    You said it, my friend. And that has always been my struggle - allowing these experiences to teach me - by losing control.

    Thank you so much for sending positive energy, and please know that it's helped tremendously. Not only for me, but for my family as well.

    (((( You ))))

    Always FAB seeing ya, Shae. Hope you're having a wonderful week!

    X ya!

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  45. Jay of The Depp EffectMarch 28, 2012

    You don't know how pleased I am to hear that your Mom is doing well! I feel so concerned for her, especially having just lost mine.

    The photo is perfect. In those dark tunnels we can see nothing else but the goal, and we are blind to the usual day to day things going on as we pass through. I like the second one too, which seems so much more hopeful. xx

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  46. Hey there Jay~

    Thank you, dear friend!

    ((((( You )))))

    We are all amazed at how well she is doing. And so is her doctor!

    "In those dark tunnels we can see nothing else but the goal, and we are blind to the usual day to day things going on as we pass through."

    Beautifully stated! And so TRUE!

    The second photo is not mine, I got it off the Internet. But, you're right....it's much more hopeful. That's why I chose it.

    Thanks a bunch for stopping by, Jay! Hope you're having an AWESOME week!

    X

    P.S. hope your neck is feeling better!

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  47. Hi there Ron! These photos are just awesome...mystical almost! Your writing is just fabulous. I am so very happy that your mom is doing well and I will continue to add her in my prayers. xo
    Jeanne

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  48. Good morning Jeanne~

    Thank you, dear lady. When I looked at this photo again, the writing just came. It's funny how images will sometimes do that for me.

    And thank you so much for your thoughts and prayer for my mother.

    ((((( You ))))))

    You're a sweetheart!

    Always great seeing ya. Hope you're having a terrific week!

    X to you and the girlz!

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  49. Just found your blog! Very interesting post. Being an artist myself, I can relate to what you mean about developing a 'third eye' which enables me to express certain experiences through my artwork. I never thought of myself consciously doing that, but now that you mentioned it, I see that I do.

    Nice photo, btw. It really depicts your topic here. Glad to hear that your mother is doing well!

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  50. Greetings Daniel~

    Welcome! Thank you for stopping by and sharing a comment. Nice to meet ya!

    "Being an artist myself, I can relate to what you mean about developing a 'third eye' which enables me to express certain experiences through my artwork."

    I never thought of myself consciously doing that either, but I saw an interview several years ago with the movie director, Nora Ephron, who said that she always observes herself with her 'third eye' while experiencing something, whether it be something good or bad, and takes note to all the detail; using it in her writing. After I saw that interview I realized that I do the same thing.

    Thank you, glad you enjoyed the photo. It really does depict how I felt about this topic.

    Please stop by anytime, Daniel. You're always welcomed here.

    Enjoy your weekend!

    X

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