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I’m beginning to think that all the Elmer’s Glue I sniffed in catholic school, has finally come back to haunt me.

Or maybe it could be that now, because I’m 53 years old, my Temporal lobe is slowly shrinking like a hemorrhoid.

But lately, I’ve been doing something which I find very frustrating …

…like forgetting WHY I went to do something.

Has that ever happened to you?

The other day while I was brushing my teeth, I suddenly remembered that I hadn’t balanced my checkbook in a few days, so I thought… “Oooooh, you better go do that immediately.”

So after rinsing my mouth I walked over to my desk, but when I got there, I paused confusingly and thought…

…“Now WHY the hell did I walk over here???”

This has been happening to me quite frequently.

But I finally figured a clever way to remember WHY I walked into a room.

You see, if I reverse my body movements, by actually walking backwards from where I came, I suddenly remember WHY I walked forward in the first place.

It’s sort of like pushing the rewind button on a DVD player. You can go back to the beginning of a scene and then see what you’ve missed.

Hey…but it works!

Another thing that I’ve been doing…

…is forgetting WHAT I went into the grocery store for.

And in this case, walking backwards doesn’t help, because I’d have to walk 13 blocks backwards to my apartment and I’d look like a total ASS, so I refuse to do it.

A lot of the times when I go shopping for just a few items, I’ll grab a basket and start walking down the isles and then suddenly blank out…

…“Now WHAT the hell did I come in here for?”

So I end up meandering around the store; staring at all the shelves like a lost puppy, and hoping that by spending two hours looking at every single article of food in the store, I’ll finally remember WHAT.

I know…I know I should make a grocery list, but you see, the only reason why I don’t like to do that, is because I want to train my brain not to rely on a silly piece of paper; forcing it to remember things on it’s own, so that my brain actually becomes STRONGER.

But as far as I can tell…that’s working like SHIT.

No…No…

…I think what I really need to do, is go back to the way that my Aunt Anna-Mae used to remember…




Have an UN-forgettable weekend, everyone!

X




Please Note: I'll be out for most of the day on Saturday, so I'll be responding to comments later in the evening. Thank you for your patience and understanding, folks!

32 comments:

  1. I've tried those techniques--and now have taken stock out in post-it notes.

    I lose 'em as fast as I write 'em mind you....which makes the market investment a really, really good one!
    You might wanna consider helping me get rich. LOL

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  2. It happens to me ALL THE TIME. And I make lists. Except when I forget to make lists and am on my own. OH it's comical. Even last night I went on a couple errands with hubs. He's usually right on about everything he needs to buy/do:
    dog bones... check
    kitty food... check
    mail bills... check
    look yummy and sexy.... check

    NOT ME. A little later I'm wandering around the craft store, rumpled coupons in hand, hair all wild, tax exempt papers falling all over the place, crazed look on my face as I wander up and down the isles. Whenever he goes to a store with me, at some point I usually look at him and say...
    'what was I in here for??'...
    and he just shakes his head because he has NO idea and is probably trying to figure out how I managed to bribe him into shopping for things like glittery stickers and crystal beads in the first place. He's thinking how warm and cozy he'd feel laying in his recliner with his slippers on channel surfing and instead I'm shoving a pack of paper in his hand and a coupon because how can I get to use TWO of them if we don't pay separately??? And I don't really NEED the paper to begin with. But I love paper, and we're there, and I can get 40 or 50% off with that little coupon so why the hell not. And then back home later I'll be like OH.... glue sticks.... that's what I NEEDED. And so the cycle starts all over again the next day.

    I totally get what you're saying.
    Totally.

    Have a great weekend!

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  3. Ron,
    My dear boy this happens to all of us and as the years toll up so does the loss of memory.
    So Ralph, I say just roll with it and don't let it get to you.
    Rick, I had an episode just the other day, June 15, 1958. I remember not remebering about something I forget about now.
    Hey Rob, did I ever tell you about the time I >>>>..... Damn, forgot again. I have to run Jim, I just remembered that I forgot to eat lunch last Friday and now I have to make up for it as long as I remember where the kitchen is.

    Have a good Day, Dan.

    Your friend, wait let me look in my wallet, oh yea my name is Dave

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  4. Stop it right now, I can't laugh anymore!
    Oh gosh have I been in your shoes.
    I am one of those got a million things to do list people and write things all the time. I would have needed to move into a larger apartment had this dreaded fear of forgetting got the best of me!
    I live next to a grocery store yet forgetting the grocery list and that one damn needed item is a real biatch.
    Fortunately this happens very rarely but when it does-sheesh!
    I'll think of you next time I see a lost soul in Leader Price!
    Have a great weekend!
    BB

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  5. Morning Mel!

    That's hysterical, because when I tried using post-it-notes, the same damn thing happened to me...

    ....I kept losing them, and then two months later, I'd find one or two of them sticking to an article of clothing in my closet!!!

    No...no...

    I think Aunt Anna-Mae had the right idea!

    And my added idea is to have several different color strings; placing them on various fingers to remind me of several different things, ya know?

    (god...I'll have to use my TOES for when I go major grocery shopping)

    HAHHAHAHAHA!

    Anyway...I'll let you know if it works, OK?

    Have a MARVI weekend dear Mel!

    And thanks for dropin' by!

    X

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  6. Howdy Crystal Chick!

    LET IT OUT, M!

    LET IT OUT!!!

    VENT!!!

    OMG!!!! YOU MAKE LAUGH!!!!!!

    I could SO much envision you walking through the store and you and hubby doing all that stuff!!!!!

    Oh...that was TOO DAMN FUNNY!!

    Hey...that was a POST all on it's own!!!

    One of these days I should categorize all the HYSTERICAL comments that you ladies and gents leave here...and do a hightlight post on them!!

    Hey...that's actually a good idea!

    Anway, M...I'm so glad to hear that you can identify with today's vent.

    Maybe you and I could start a special forgetful club, here in the northeast.

    And we could call it...

    The Forget Me Not's"

    HAHAHAAHHAHAHAHA!!

    Thanks so much for sharing on this post!!!

    You should really try doing "stand-up comedy"

    Have an UN-forgettable weekend, M!

    X

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  7. Oh...Dave...Dave...Dave...

    PLEASE start a COMEDY blog!!!!

    Man oh, man...I can just imagine the two of us sharing a Reiki session together, and then suddenly channeling Laurel and Hardy!!!

    You're so right my friend...

    ...roll with it, and don't let it get me down!

    Wait a minute....

    ....don't let WHAT? get me down?

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    Thanks for the belly-laugh Dave!

    That was UN-forgettable!

    And have a GREAT weekend!

    Gratefully,
    Dan

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  8. Bonjour Brigitte!

    YES!!!

    And that's another thing...

    ...even when I did make a list, the same damn thing would happen to me...

    ...I'd end up forgetting the ONE THING which I REALLY needed, and was the primary reason that I went to the store to begin with.

    *and usually it's something mandatory like TOILET PAPER!!

    OMG..I can't tell you how many times I ended up having to use a NAPKIN!

    *and they don't FLUSH very well!

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!

    Thanks for dropping by today Brigitte!!!!

    Have an AWESOME weekend, dear lady!

    X

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  9. I'd forget my head if it weren't screwed on tight. I call it my
    'oltimers disease'. I make a list, then forget the list at home. I go somewhere with intent to use a coupon, then forget the coupon at home. Then I'll go in the store "what did I need again?"
    It's pathetic.

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  10. HAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHA!!!! I do the SAME EXACT THING when I forget what I was just going to do.... I retrace my steps to find myself in another room and then it hits me... OH YEH!!! It works 8 or 9 out of 10 times... I do the SAME THING too, at the supermarket... Like going for something VERY specific and then forgetting what, and then going down the aisles hoping it will jilt my memory.... I forget sooo much and sooooo many things!!!
    Sometimes after I've left the apt and already far from home... I forget if I have turned the gas on the stove off... or if I turned the oven off or if the iron is still out, I forget if I've turned it off... Funny, huh?
    Have you ever had the ringing telephone thing happen when are blow drying your hair?! Every thime you turn the blow dryer on you swear you hear the phone ringingl? Hmmmmmmm... Have a great WE Ronk, and thanks for this wonderful post!!

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  11. Aloha Debi!

    OMG...you're killing me, girl!!!

    That's so funny!!

    And what you shared is exactly WHY I don't ever bother with coupons!!

    I mean...WHY?

    They're ALWAYS somewhere else?!?!

    I either leave them on my desk or in another backpack, but they're NEVER with me when I go to use them!!

    Oh...but you're such a FABULOUS bargain shopper with or without coupons. I can't believe all the great deals you find!

    So glad to hear that I'm not the ONLY one with this FORGETFUL mind!!

    Thanks for stopping by Deb!

    *Oh...and just a gentle reminder...

    ....don't FORGET to take your coupons tomorrow!

    HAHAHAHAHAHHA!

    Have a MARVI weekend!

    Sincerely,
    Mr. Forget-Me-Not
    X

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  12. Bonjour Leesa!!

    HOLY CRAP...YOUR COMMENT MADE ME HOWL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!

    OMG...I can't stop laughing, because what you said about not remembering whether or not you turned off the gas stove and the iron is EXACTLY what I do too!!

    And then all day long I'm WORRIED that I'm going to come home to burned down apartment building!!!

    OMG...and then thing you mentioned about HEARING the phone ring while you're blow drying your hair is SO TRUE!!!! But in my case, it's while I'm taking a shower...so I keep turning the shower OFF and then LISTEN real hard for the RING!!!

    And it NEVER is RINGING!!!

    I feel like I'm going INSANE!!!

    OMG, Leesa...thank you SO MUCH for adding your hysterics to this post!

    That was BRILLIANT!!

    And thanks for being as psychotic as I AM!!!

    Have an UN-forgetable weekend my friend!

    XOXOXOXXO

    P.S. and don't forget to turn the iron off!

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  13. well, of course, I can't remember anything, I am a woman of that age, a certain age, when we start to simply evaporate into eternal forgetfulness and confusion, whether we look like we are cretins or not....so I make lists EVERYWHERE I AM, bedroom, car, kitchen, bathroom, even made them in the tub, did I say...ok I did...

    now, my best weapon against forgetting has been my husband and when it starts happening to him, we might as well just shut the doors and have meals delivered by some kind neighbor who will surely feel sorry for us OR we will force a child to move home, one of the ones without kids, and they will have to take care of US! there's a thought....woe woe woe is us if that comes to pass because .... well, can you imagine anything much worse...thanks ron, now that I am thoroughly depressed over my certain decrepitude surely to come...

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  14. Hiya Linda!

    OMG...this is TOO funny, because I JUST left a comment on YOUR blog a minute ago!!!

    SEE!!!...we DID know one another in a past life!!!

    OMG...and your comment made be BURST OUT LAUGHING!!!

    That was a RIOT!!

    Isn't it the PITTS, when this starts to happen??

    I mean, I literally feel like I'm Joan Crawford and Bette Davis is trying to make me think that I'm going INSANE!!!

    It's HORRIBLE!!!

    However, today I went grocery shopping and I was SO PROUD of myself for remembering everything!!!

    I think.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!

    Listen, just call me here in Philly if ever it gets that bad for you...and I'll fly over and bring you your meals, ok?

    oooh...that actually would be fun, because then we could play with Tarots Cards and do readings for one another!!

    That is...

    ...if either of us can remember what the all the Tarot Cards mean!?!

    HAHAHAHAHA!

    Thanks a bunch for stopping by this evening, dear friend!

    You gave me a major giggle!

    Have wonderful weekend!!!

    XO

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  15. Welcome to the wonderful world of Age Related Attention Deficit Disorder!

    I'm going to email you something about it. It'll make you laugh like a lunatic!

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  16. Hey Lady Nitebyrd!

    OMG...

    ...Age Related Attention Deficit Disorder!!

    That's a PISSER!

    And it's sounds PERFECT!

    ooooh...can't WAIT to get your email!!!!!!!

    They ALWAYS make me laugh like a lunatic!

    Thanks for stopping by, my Florida friend!

    Hey...and we're finally having some freaking freezing temperatures here! Today it was in the teens!!!

    X

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  17. ronnie...ah...um, hum, I forgot what i was going to say.

    hold on...I have to go back and re-read your post.

    *cricket*

    okay I'm back...ha. Oh no that's not ever happened to me. Nope. I can't remember the last time that has happened to me. :D

    hey walking backwards was fun when we were kids. We'd even race backwards. yeah sometimes you fall head over tea cups...but that was part of the fun.

    You know what's cooler than walking backwards...trying to talk backwards while walking backwards...Now if it sounds like playing Led Zepplin album Stairway to Heaven backwards...stop! Do the sign of the cross. say 10 Hail Marys and 5 Our Fathers and hope to God you forget stuff like that. :D

    A curse to one is a blessing to another. hehehe

    Ciao sweetie. Have a fab Sunday.

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  18. Good Evening Miss Zepplin Jones!

    OMG woman...YOU KILL ME!!!!!!!!!!!

    And no...I've never tried talking backwards while walking backwards, however, that's the FIRST thing I'm gonna do tomorrow when I get out on the city streets!

    However...that's something that MOST of the crazy people do here in this demented city, but don't know they're doing it!

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!

    Everyone here talks/walks ass-backwards!

    HAHAHHAHHAHA!

    OMG...I feel so SILLY this evening!

    Anway my wonderful friend..I hope you had a marvi Saturday and will be having an even marvier Sunday!

    I spent the whole day out in Mount Airy. I took the train early this morning, because I SO needed to get out of the city for the day. I had a wonderful lunch and then walked around the little town. It was such a GREAT DAY!

    Thanks for stopping by Miss Jones!

    I'll be visiting you sometime tomorrow to catch up with your posts!

    Ciao baby bella

    X

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  19. Hey Rich, no wait, that's not it. . . Oh ya

    Hey Roger. . . shit, that's not it either. . . ummmmmmm. . . Oh ya,

    Hey, ooh, speaking of hay, did you see how the price of livestock feed has gone up?

    That reminds me. . . I need to feed the cat. . . hmmmm. . . Here kitty, kitty, kitty.

    Have you seen my cat Rick?

    Rick?. . . who the hell's Rick?

    Ah crap, what was I going to say?

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  20. Howdy Doug oh shit...I mean Jeff

    HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!

    You freaking KILL ME!!!!!

    Hey...how's the new blog coming along?

    Hope you're having a UN-forgetful weekend, buddy!

    And thanks for stopping by Steve!

    Sickcerely,
    Rick

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  21. Ron I have some bad news for you honey. You know I'm older than you right? Well it gets worse! :(

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  22. Good Afternoon Akelamalu!

    I just want you to know that your comment made me HOWL!

    Just the way you wrote it was hysterical!

    Ok, so what you're saying is...

    ..just WAIT!!!!!!

    Oh well, I better start wearing a name tag, so I can remember my own name!

    HAHAHAHAHAAHHA!

    Thanks for giving me the "head-ups" on this.

    I feel so much better now!

    tee, hee!

    Have a wonderful Sunday my friend!

    XO

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  23. Hi Ron!!

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! OMG... I forgot to mention the shower, too.... I used to do that ALL the time in San Diego.. and same for me... The phone was NEVER ringing... Here in France, the telephone ring is sooo different from that in the U.S. All house and business phones have this same song sounding ring and it's SUPER LOUD so there's really NO EXCUSE for missing it... not even a running shower.... UNLESS, of course, YOU are singing at the top of your lungs - which might be a good possibility for you, dear Ron!!! hehehehe!!!
    And, oh... I cannot even tell you how many times I have prayed and wished that the apt. building was still standing when I got back home... Because, if there is a fire in our apt... it would surely catch to all the other apts. as well... I honestly have even gone for a walk in the neighbourhood and wonder if I turned the gas off... We have a special stove, you see.. and in order to make sure that gas is NOT leaking into the apt. we "turn it off" when we are done using the range.... Not the inside oven... just the top burners... I think that I just do it out of habit now--- just to make myself worry that I left something plugged in (like the iron) or turned on (like the gas or oven).
    Do you know... I really think of this as my real life experience... One time, I went to do the laundry which was in the laundry room in the apt. across the street from me... (I was living in San Diego- maybe about 6 years ago or longer). Well, I went out of my front door (leaving the door wide open), but pulling the security gate door shut and it locked behind me... I hadn't brought my keys with ... Luckily I had a phone with me... I left my choc. chip cookies baking in the oven at the time so I had to call the fire dept. to break into my apt. Two trucks - the engine and the other one came with about 8 firemen (woo wooo) and they broke into my apt, without even damaging my door- what talent and expertise... Needless to say, the cookies were like charcoal pucks.... hehehe.... We all had a good laugh....
    Another time, I left the iron on and it burned through the carpet... Man!! I'm DANGEROUS!!!!!
    Happy Sunday to you Ron!!!
    Thanks for stopping by my blogs and commenting... Always a pleasure to see you there!! Hugs,
    Leese

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  24. Bonjour Leesa!

    OMG...OMG...OMG...OMG!!!!!

    I WISH YOU COULD HEAR ME LAUGHING RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!

    I'm actually choking, I'm laughing so hard!

    Leesa..you're a RIOT!!!

    The thing that you shared about leaving the oven on while you were baking cookies, and then looking like pucks was HYSTERICAL!!

    As you were describing the whole story...I could actually SEE it happening!

    And that's really cool about being able to turn off the gas for the burners on your stove! Especially when you live in apartments, such as you and I. That can be a scary thin, because I can't tell you how many times I've smelled gas in the apartment hallway in my building and ended up telling our doorman about it!

    Oh listen...one time in Florida I iron a pair of pants, by laying them on the floor instead of the ironing board...and ended up burning a HUGE spot on the carpet!! OMG...it looked like shit! So I took a pair of cuticle scissors and clipped the burnt spots off, but it still ended up looking like shit!

    HAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    Oh, my friend...thank you SO MUCH for stopping by and adding your wonderful comment!

    It was SOOOOOOOOO enjoyed!!!

    Hope you had a spectacular Sunday!

    Hugs to you too!

    XOXOXOX

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  25. I feel SO much better after reading your post and the comments. I thought I was going crazy..now I know I am normal. ha, ha

    I can say one positive thing about forgetfulness and living in a two story home..it keeps my weight down. I go upstairs to get something. I pick up something entirely different..come back downstairs. Of course, in a bit I realize I didn't get what I went up there to get. So I go back up there again.

    I used to get "concerned" about myself..now I just try to view it as exercise.

    LY!

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  26. Good Evening Dearest Gypsy-Heart!

    Yes...isn't this a lovely thing that apparently is happening to EVERYONE???

    FORGETFULNESS!!!!!!!!!

    And according to Akelamalu...it GET WORSE!

    I hope to god I don't start forgetting to pee!

    HAHAHAHAHHAAHA!

    God love ya, woman!

    It's so great seeing ya!

    You made my weekend!

    Hope you're weekend was UN-forgettable!

    Love ya!

    X

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  27. hehehe Ron. Big Hugs! You're definitely not alone.

    Welcome to MindOPause (big grin here).

    I'm just hoping that the stuff I'm forgetting is the stuff I don't want to remember anyway. Like, whether or not I've had my allotment of chocolate for the day! LOL

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  28. Hi Ron

    Ha Ha Ha, made me laugh, reminds me of my husband sometimes and he is a little bit younger than you !!!

    Thank you for your lovely comment, not back blogging yet, but reading the ones I like. :-)

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  29. Hiya Miss Grace!

    MINDOPAUSE!

    That's HYSTERICAL!!!!

    I need to use that word at work when I get back next week!!

    It's funny, because I remember Shirley Maclaine mentioning this exact same thing in one of her books. And what she said was BRILLIANT...

    ...she said that it really use to frustrate her because she kept forgetting things, but then realized that the stuff she was forgetting, was probably stuff that she never really needed to remember anyway!!!

    HAHHAHAHAHA!

    LOVE IT!

    Thanks for stopping by today Miss Grace!

    Always a pleasure!

    X

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  30. Good Evening Anne!

    Thanks so much for stopping by!!

    It's always so nice to see ya here, dear lady!

    Yes...unfortunately, my mind is getting alittle forgetful these days.

    Oh well, do you know what I have to say about that?....

    ...just FORGET IT!

    HAHAHHAHAHHA

    Listen, I've got you on my google reader, so when you come back I'll be over to say hi, ok!

    Enjoy your evening!

    X

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  31. My memory is a mess too. Can tell you what you wore the first time we met, but have no idea what I had for dinner last night. My lowest point was when I went to cover a town hall meeting. I did that and then went to lunch. I sat there and I thought to myself, "Oh my God! I forgot to go to the town hall meeting!" I completely forgot what I had done 15 mins. prior.

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  32. Hi Roberto!

    You're funny!

    But, I'm the EXACT same way!!!

    My short term memnory SUCKS!

    Yet, my long term memory seems to be GREAT!

    I'm really bad at remembering peoples names too!

    When I use to cut hair for a living, I always had to check my appointment book right before a client came in, to remember what their name was. Sometimes it took me 6 months to remember!?!?

    OY VEY!

    Thanks for dropping by Richard.

    oooops!...I mean Roberto!

    HAHAAHAHAHAHA!

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