Masters at Selling

One of my blogging pals gave me the inspiration for this post, so I want to begin by thanking her.

Thank you Jen! And if you haven’t already done so, please stop by her blog for a visit. She’s a wonderful writer with an intelligent and quick mind. And may I also add….VERY funny.

Jen mentioned something to me in one of her emails after purchasing a cosmetic product that I had recommended to her on my other blog.

She said something that really struck a cord in me that is so typical of not all, but many cosmetic sales people. She went up to the cosmetic counter to purchase one thing, and then they tried to sell her something additional.

She used the phrase, “They’re masters at selling.”

But I would like to say, “They’re actually masters at bullshit.”

Let me say that I genuinely love what I do. I thoroughly enjoy being involved in the beauty industry and can honestly say that I look forward to going to work everyday.

However.

And this is a HUGE however.

The beauty industry can be ruthless.

Allow me to lay it all out on the table for you…..

Beauty advisers are taught, trained, and pressured to do one thing….SELL.

Sales people are placed in a position so they have to fight with other sales people to not only make their sales goals, but also their commissions. It’s like being thrown into a den of starving lions; all trying to eat the same food.

And I don’t blame this on sales people, I blame it on the cosmetic companies.

Cosmetic companies spend there time trying to figure out ways to create more tension and competitiveness between their sales people, so that the company gets what they need.

The more aggressive you are the more you’re admired. You can be one of the biggest trouble makers, but if your sales are high they will overlook it.

Honestly? I really don’t know how I’ve managed to stay in this industry as long as I have and still enjoy it the way I do. I usually don’t have other sales people fighting with me. And not because I’m this happily-go-lucky guy who is always laughing and having fun. But rather, I think people understand that included within my laughter and fun, is Joan Crawford saying, “DON’T FUCK WITH ME FELLAS!”

Now, I totally understand that we all have to make a living, but where do you draw the line when it comes to integrity?

I’ve always been a rebel in this industry by refusing to sell for the sake of selling to make a sales goal. Or, to push a particular product because the company says that sales are down. Excuse me…but my only goal should be to listen to what a customer wants and do my best to give it to them.

Somehow this industry has managed to flip-flop roles; making the consumer feel pressured into purchasing something in order that the sale person gets what they need.

More sales.

Don’t get me wrong, I know that my job involves sales, but it’s how I choose to make them that’s the difference.

It’s called service.

I know in today’s world the word service may sound like a foreign language, but it’s a word I was taught by my father who was one of the best sales people I ever knew.

He sincerely gave people what they wanted.

So, I would like to conclude this post by saying to all you ladies and gentlemen who shop for cosmetic and beauty products.

Don’t ever allow a sales person to pressure or schmooze you into purchasing something. Because their job is to SERVE you.

Get what you want.

Not what they need.

Hey, look...my new commenting system!

Let me start off by saying that I thoroughly enjoy having my two blogs hosted here at Blogger.

And for those of you who may not already know, I also have a blog hosted at Wordpress.

Like with any blog hosting company there are pros and cons. And you’re bound to have occasional technical glitches with any blogging platform - it‘s only natural.

Blogger has without a doubt giving me more freedom in customizing my template. In fact, if it weren’t for Blogger I would have never learned how to use HTML coding. All in all I much prefer Blogger over Wordpress because of it’s creative adaptability.

That being said, I must also share that Wordpress has an awesome commenting and spam filtering system. And although I’ve had occasional issues with their commenting system, I find it to be way superior to Bloggers. Not only in the way it works, but also in the way it looks.

Bloggers commenting and spam filtering systems, if I can be bluntly honest…..SUCK a donkey dick.



Excuse me….but, WHAT spam filtering system are they referring to? Word verification? Do they mean the system where you have to type in the verification word TEN times before it actually works? Or, do they mean the system that even when you DO use word verification…DOESN’T work to filter out spam?

And PAAALEESE….

…let’s not even talk about trying to leave a comment and then having it VANISH into thin air the second you hit publish.

This happens much too often to make me want to SCREAM.


Leaving a comment on Blogger is like using a knitting needle to perform a root canal without the use of Novocain.

I imagine it to also be like giving birth to a 20 lb. baby without the use of an epidural.

It’s freakin’ PAINFUL.

So, after doing some investigation, I decided to install IntenseDebate commenting system on this blog. Now, I’ll be honest and tell you upfront that it may be slower to download on certain Internet browsers. However, my dear friend Kathryn tried it out on my practice blog several times yesterday and said that it loaded quickly and worked like a charm. Thanks again, Kathryn!

I’m really excited about all the cool features this system offers.

First of all, it allows us to reply to one another’s comments directly beneath our comments, so it feels more like we’re having a conversation. It also allows for comment luv which means your comments will leave a link to your latest blog post. You’ll also be able to add icons to your comments - how fun is that?

IntenseDebate additionally has a primo spam filtering system and also allows for comment moderation.

But one of the most miraculous things this system offers is SPELL CHECK! Yes, that’s right…you can spell check your comments. And if you’re like me (a lousy speller) you’ll really enjoy this feature.

So, welcome to my new commenting system everyone. Enjoy!

I hope you all had a faaaaaaaaaabulous Christmas!

Thank you for your comments and emails last week.

It’s great to be back blogging again!

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Hi folks!

I just wanted to let you know that this will be my last post until after Christmas.

From tomorrow on I will be working straight through without a day off, therefore I won’t be online as much.

Today I will be doing my laundry, going grocery shopping, and then ironing my clothes for tomorrow. Doesn't that sound like tremendous fun?

Amazingly enough, so far retail stress hasn’t been too bad. I mean I’ve only fantasized about throwing two customers in front of a moving bus, so I’m feeling rather award-winning at the moment.

However, I know that by next Tuesday I’ll mostly likely be incarcerated for trying to insert my right foot into someone’s sphincter.

Pray for me.

Anyway….

….I want to wish each and everyone of you a Merry Christmas!

And to thank you for being such an awesome bunch of people who I thoroughly enjoy sharing my life with.

You ALL make this blog what it is….

….a community of joy!

This may sound odd, but I often feel like I know and understand you better than I do people offline.

I definitely know that I think and talk about you while I’m away from this computer and refer to you as friends.

This blog has given my life an additional sense of purpose. To create a space where people can come and feel welcomed, relaxed, and at home; knowing that their presence in this world is always appreciated.

And you are, my friends.

Wishing you and your loved ones a Charlie Brown Christmas!

Note: And if you feel like dancing, please take 38 seconds to do so…..

Do You Think There's Enough Starbucks?

Let me start off by saying that I LOVE Starbucks.

Truly, I do.

In fact, if it wasn’t for my daily dose of Starbucks coffee I don’t think my circulatory system would circulate.

There is nothing on this planet more “life force giving” as when Starbucks coffee hits my bloodstream; making my heart race, my hands shake, my teeth chatter, and my pupils dilate, right before my eyes start spinning around in my head like a slot machine in Atlantic City.

I feel renewed and totally rebalanced.

And I think it’s actually caused me to grow more hair on my chest, so now my pecs look like a double-dense furry futon mattress.

Starbucks brews coffee the way I like it…

…strong and delightfully EVIL.

However, I don’t know about where any of you live, but here in Philly there is a Starbucks located on every corner.

* ok, that’s a slight exaggeration, but there’s at least one on every fifth corner.

God forbid you have to walk more than two feet to find a Starbucks.

I googled the city with the most Starbucks and Vegas was #1. Seattle and Portland were 2 and 3.

I’m not surprised that Vegas is #1, considering that caffeine must make people gamble faster.

Now, my question is this…

…how the HELL do all these stores make a profit by flooding the market with too much availability?

Oh, that’s right I forgot…

…they charge $4.95 for a venti Frappuccino.

One of life’s luxuries

Catching Snowflakes On My Tongue

Last Saturday afternoon we had our first snowfall here in Philadelphia.

Earlier in the week I kept hearing that we were going to get some snow on the weekend, so I was jumping up and down and clapping my hands for five days; zealously anticipating a snowfall like the final scene in the movie White Christmas.

However, I really wouldn’t call what we got a full snowfall, it was more like a snow/rainfall.

But, honestly? I didn’t care because all I could focus on was the blessed SNOW.

I don’t think people truly realize how coo-coo nutty I get when it comes to the first snowfall of the year.

Watching me react to snow you would think I was an alien from some faraway planet who had never seen it before. I literally start cheering and flailing my arms, as if I were watching hundred dollar bills falling from the sky.

I pretty much go insane.

Everyone at work knows how I am when it comes to snow. So, Saturday afternoon when one of my fellow employees eagerly told me that it had begun to snow, I RAN over to one of the glass doors and pressed my nose against it like a little boy; causing my breath to form. I watched, as these HUGE snowflakes floated down from the heavens and landed on the pavement. None of it stuck of course, but it didn’t matter to me because it SNOWED!!!!

And you have no idea how much I wanted to run outside without my coat on and start dancing in it like the Sugar Plum Fairy in a lavender tutu.

One of my favorite things to do whenever it snows, is to try and catch snowflakes on my tongue.




I know that may sound strange, but I’m actually a 6 year old boy trapped inside a 54 year old man.

There is something so magically childlike about running through a city park, waggling my tongue in the cold air; catching a snowflake or two.

However, I have to be very cautious when I do this because I have terrible karma when it comes to pigeons….

.....the little fuckers.

Billy....You're Such a Doll

Who knew when I was a little boy; dreaming of owning a Barbie doll, that one day in the distant future there would be a doll invented just for me?

Billy.

Billy was created by artist John McKitterick and marketed in the United States by London-based Totem International as "the first out and proud gay doll" although that distinction actually belongs to Gay Bob, introduced in 1977. McKitterick created the doll based on sketches he drew while living in London. After a successful limited-edition run of 1,200 dolls created to benefit an AIDS charity, McKitterick decided to mass market his creation....



It was introduced in a number of versions based on stereotypical gay characters, including Sailor Billy, Cowboy Billy, Master Billy and San Francisco Billy.

Other dolls in the Billy line include Carlos, Billy's Puerto Rican boyfriend, and Tyson, their African American friend.





Billy and Carlos donned drag in 1999, with Billy dressed in a gingham checkered pantsuit as "Dolly" and Carlos as "Carmen" in a polka dot outfit reminiscent of those worn by Carmen Miranda.

In 2001, a Billy doll wearing a brown uniform with a patch reading "BPS" (for Billy's Parcel Service) was introduced.

Note: "BPS" Billy is my personal favorite. Hubba-hubba!

For me, the most hysterical feature of the Billy doll collection is that they’re anatomically correct….

I seriously think they should have named him….Woody.

Have an awesome weekend everyone!

X