Earthquakes and Hurricanes and Bears....Oh My!

I thought moving back east would be a much safer place to live because all that ever really happens here as far as severe, hazardous weather conditions are mainly snow blizzards during the winter. But nooooooooooooooooo, now that I’ve moved back east we’re experiencing EARTHQUAKES and HURRICANES.

Having lived in Florida for 20 years, I’m use to hurricanes. So I was not really freaked out about the grand entrance of Irene. Like a boy scout, I’ve learned how to be well prepared for hurricanes and that the weather reports will often present the storms much bigger than they really are as a safety precaution.

But EARTHQUAKES????

Last Wednesday afternoon, whilst standing in my bathroom, I felt a tremor and vibration that went from my feet to the top of my head. I blew it off, assuming it was caused from heavy construction work being done in the street below me. However, as I walked from the bathroom to my computer desk, I actually felt the building sway. Still ignoring it, I proceeded to leave my apartment and take the elevator down 20-something floors and then walked out onto the city streets.

THAT’S when I started to realized something was up.

The entire city was FILLED with chaos, while people quickly evacuated all the office buildings. I finally walked up to a group of ladies standing on a street corner and asked them what was going on. They all looked at me like I was insane and said, “Haven’t you heard? We just got hit by an earthquake from Virginia!!!”

Well, you never saw someone start walking so fast in your life. I decided that the safest place to be would be outside Center City limits, so I headed over to the Fairmount Park area which is AWAY from tall buildings.

Here are some photographs I took of the pedestrian congestion on Market Street, as I power walked over to Fairmount Park.



I was the only person on the street without a cell phone, but I overheard many people say they could not get a connection because certain cell phone towers were affected by the earthquake.

Notice how the kids were acting like nothing was happening. Well…all but that one kid on the left who had the same expression on his face that I had. PANIC!

I actually had to walk in the street because the sidewalks were packed with people.

Hurricane Irene

We were very blessed in Philadelphia because the hurricane only brought us some heavy rain and wind, but no power outages.

Here’s what it looked like as Irene was just getting started. I know, it looks like it was raining BUBBLES!

Like an idiot, I kept one of my windows slightly opened (which is something you should NEVER do during a hurricane), thus my apartment got rained in.

The wind was so bad I had some rain leakage through one of the upper window frames, so I had to haul out a bucket to catch the drippings.

The morning after. Notice how deserted the streets are - it was like a ghost town. The summer temperature had dropped considerably and there was still a bit of gusty wind present.

An abandoned umbrella (or what use to be an umbrella) on the sidewalk.

OUCH! I caught this photo while walking down one of the little side streets.

Well, I don’t know about the rest of you who live here on the east coast, but I can’t wait until summer is over and winter arrives.

Because I’ll take a snow blizzard over an earthquake or a hurricane ANY day.

My Teeth Take A Bath

My Promise:

I promise this will be the LAST post you’ll ever have to read that has anything to do with my teeth.

*I think*

But, I just couldn’t allow this MONUMENTAL event to pass by without sharing it with you faaaaaaabulous guys and gals.

What would you say if I told you it’s been OVER 20 years since my last professional teeth cleaning?

Did you all just GASP?

Did you all just FAINT?

Did you all just do a POOPIE CRAP in your pants?

Well, Monday, my new dental hygienist did all three of those things when I told her.

However, just before she fell off her stool and cracked her skull on the trash can she said, “I’m amazed your teeth look this clean. How did you do it for over 20 years?”

I replied, “Well, easy, I use TWO different kinds of toothpaste - one for plaque, one for whitening, I floss every time I eat, and use a perio-therapy oral rinse twice a day for my gums.

After twenty years, I imagine she thought my teeth would look like the Hunchback of Notre Dame….


But I’ve got to be honest, I still think my mouth looked as though it were in need of a professional cleaning. I had quite a bit of tartar buildup behind my lower front teeth. Also, my teeth had a slight yellow cast to them which was caused by the two cups of dark roast coffee I drink everyday. Plus, I’m a light smoker.

I sincerely thought when the hygienist saw my mouth she was going to get wide-eyed and say, “I need to get out the jackhammer, a Brillo pad, and a bottle of liquid Clorox.”

Apparently, my teeth weren’t as heinous as I thought because she didn’t have to do as deep a scaling as I imagined she would.

Last week, my dentist did a full mouth examination and said that my gums were in excellent shape, and my teeth were tight and strong.

Looking at my x-rays, though, it was quite obvious that I will be having some serious work done on two of my teeth. One being the bridge that caused the abscess, and the other being an upper molar that needs a crown. But, other than that my teeth are healthy.

Who knew?

And I was SHOCKED because I assumed after looking at the x-rays my dentist was going to say, “Oh goodie, now I can buy that condo in Bermuda I always wanted.”

Anyway, after the hygienist finished polishing my teeth she handed me a mirror and said, “Look, Ron!”

*blinking*

Holy macanoli!….it appeared as though I was staring at the reflection of someone else’s mouth.

My teeth GLOWED! And when I ran my tongue over them they felt as smooth as butta.

I’ve decided not to eat or drink anything for the rest of my life because I don’t want to dirty them.

Here’s a photo of the end result…..

Cheese!

Wishing you a sparkling weekend everyone!

X

Update (Saturday the 27th): Hi everyone! Just wanted to let you know that because of the hurricane which will be effecting us here on the east coast today and tomorrow, we may lose power. Therefore, if you don't see me online, you'll know that's why. Take care, be safe, and I'll see ya soon! X

Approval

Throughout my childhood, I was pretty much an outcast.

I was not very social in school because I never fit into any particular group.

And let’s face it, school is all about fitting into a group.

I wasn’t part of the scholastic group because I was more interested in being street smart than book smart. Nor was I part of the athletic group because I had no interest in sports. My interests leaned more towards artistic things, but was not able to nurture that part of myself until I became a senior in high school.

Also, I think being gay had something to do with it.

Truthfully? For as far back as I can remember, I never had any dramatic struggles with coming to the understanding and acceptance that I was gay because it always seemed natural to me. But apparently the other kids I went to school with didn‘t think so.

Back then, I don’t think kids fully understood what ‘gay’ meant, but they could tell from my non-interest in what typical boys were interested in, I was different.

Kids can often times be very mean when they sense someone is different.

Especially boys to boys.

Just like girls to girls.

I now realize as an adult, the way I was treated by other kids simply came out of fear.

From the time I started school until I got to my senior year, I was verbally abused almost every single day of my life.

My least favorite time of the day in school was while we were changing classes and had to walk though the hallways to get to our next classroom. A group of boys would stand by the water fountain and shout, “ Oh, there goes the faggot!”

They also shared a few other ‘choice’ words, which I won’t offend your ears with.

And I can remember looking at them thinking, “Do you have any idea what you’re doing?” Part of me felt hurt being verbally whiplashed in front of my other classmates, yet there was another part of me that actually felt sorry for those boys because of their ignorance.

There was no way I could tell my parents what was going on in school because if I had, it would have only made the situation worse by bringing more attention to it.

So, I plugged along.

Even though I was emotionally hurt by their abuse, something deep inside told me that I would be okay. I knew enough not to retaliate with words because it would not have done any good, and would have probably gotten more physical than verbal.

Anyway, the whole point of this post is to say that I think many of us, in one way or another, have experienced ‘not fitting in’ and seeking approval during our childhood.

Hell, even in our adulthood.

But the question is….what have we done with that?

Me, personally? I’ve allowed it to show me that I can’t rely on the rest of the world for approval.

I’m sincerely grateful for what I experienced in my childhood because it has given me the ability to realize something profound.

It’s one thing to live in this world and know that I am part of the whole.

But it’s another thing to rely on this world to make me feel WHOLE.

Approval, regardless of what it pertains to, has to come from within.

Did I Remember To Lock the Locks?

As most of you ladies and gents already know from past posts, I have a few OCD tendencies.

Well, not exactly a few, it’s more like a few too many.

Today, I thought I’d share another one I’ve kept secretly hidden, until I realized that I’m not the only person who has this obsessive compulsion.

Wednesday evening, I was talking on the phone (for TWO hours) with my faaaaaabulous fellow blogger Chrissy @ I Shoulda Been A Stripper.

Throughout these past years, she and I have jokingly come to the conclusion that we were twins separated at birth because the two of us have so many similarities and idiosyncrasies to our personalities, it’s uncanny.

One being, that we love black jelly beans.


Two being, that we hate being hot and would much rather participate in the March Of The Penguins.


Three being, that we frivolously use the F-word when talking with one another.


And four being, that we share an OCD tendency to check and recheck our front doors to make sure they’re locked before going to bed at night.

Now I can only speak for myself, but I truly think I have a MAJOR issue with this.

Here’s how goes……

Before I brush my teeth at night, I will walk over to my apartment door and check to see if both locks are locked.

Then, after brushing my teeth I will go back and check the locks AGAIN.

Then, after getting in bed I will inevitably think to myself, “Oooops….did I check the locks to make sure they were locked?” So I’ll jump out of bed and triple check them.

Now what’s really weird about this is that I live in a high rise apartment building on a 20-something floor, and have a 24-hour security guard sitting in the lobby to make sure no one enters the building without being a resident or signing in as a guest.

So, I ask you…..what am I so concerned about even if I did forget to lock my door? It’s not like some ax murder could easily walk into my building, get into an elevator, come up to my apartment and CHOP me into pieces during my sleep, and then steal my precious troll doll collection and sell it on eBay.

And not only do I check to make sure the locks are locked before I go to bed, but whenever I leave for work in the morning after already locking my apartment door, I will walk over to the door while waiting for the elevator and check TWO or THREE times to make sure I locked them.

Sometimes even while walking to work, I’ll think to myself, “Holy shit…did I remember to lock the door before I left?” There have even been times when I walked all the way back to my apartment building to check them.

I kid you not!

So my question is…..what the HELL is wrong with me????

Oh wait, I think I just answered my own question.

That’s right……I’m OCD!

Have an awesome weekend everyone!

X

My Week In Review

Well, the only four words I can actually think of to describe last week would be….

A. PIECE. OF. POOP.

Okay, where shall I start?

First, my new blog template is doing weird things by making the white background disappear. And I’m so frustrated about this I could scream because I can’t figure out how to correct it. I am inches away from reverting back to my old template.

Then….

And allow me forewarn you, that what I’m going to be sharing next will be GROSS and ICKY stuff, so if you think that will bother you then you better stop reading right here.

Two Fridays ago, I began getting a very familiar feeling in my mouth, which told me I was developing a TOOTH ABSCESS.

This was not the same abscess I developed and took care of last year, but another one located on the opposite side of my mouth under an old bridge.

And of course it happened late Friday, so I couldn’t see my dentist until this past Monday to get penicillin, therefore I took care of it myself by using peroxide to help keep the infection to a minimum. Thank god I was not in any pain, but I began to feel very tired - almost like getting the flu.

Monday morning I didn’t even make an appointment, I just walked to my dentists’ office and asked if he could see me. And being the WONDERFUL man that he is, he came right out into the waiting room and looked at me. He was very busy with two other patients, but wrote me a prescription for penicillin and then made an appointment to see him the following Monday (today), so he could determined what was going on under my bridge after the infection was cleared up.

I already know that I need to have this bridge taken out and have implants done, but I don’t have dental insurance, so I’ve been putting it off until I decide to put it on my credit card.

Anyway, when I got home I immediately started taking the penicillin and thought it would clear up the abscess in a day or two. WRONG.

It actually got worse. MUCH worse.

By the second day, the lower right hand side of my mouth was so swollen, it looked like I had someones FIST in my mouth.

Yet I was not in any pain, nor running a fever.

I didn’t want to call my dentist and tell him, because I knew he would just tell me to go see the oral surgeon who drained the abscess I had over a year ago and was NOT about to let that horrible man touch me again, so I just used copious amounts of warm salt water to draw it out, allowing it to drain on its on. I was on a very strong penicillin, therefore I knew it would work in preventing the infection from entering the rest of my body.

I was also doing Reflexology on myself every hour on the hour to help my body bring the abscess to a head naturally.

Yeah, I know what you’re all thinking, “Whaaaat? Are you CRAZY?”

No, I’m not crazy, I just know my body well enough to realize how it can heal itself naturally, along with using traditional medicine.

And as you will soon read, it worked.

By Thursday morning, between the penicillin and what I was doing naturally, it was obviously doing the trick because the abscess was coming to a head; getting bigger and bigger.

And if you can believe this, I was still not experiencing pain. Just pressure.

Late Thursday evening at about 10:00, I could tell the abscess was getting ready to burst because I began to feel pain - A LOT. But I’ve been through this before, therefore was use to it. I just took some Advil and kept rinsing my mouth with warm salt water every half hour.

Then at about 11:45, just as I was getting ready to publish last Fridays’ post….it happened.

KA-POW! The abscess erupted!

I ran to the bathroom and began rinsing my mouth with massive amounts of MORE warm salt water.

OMG….you should have seen the stuff that drained out of that abscess.

It kinda looked like what Linda Blair threw up in the movie The Exorcist.

But I rinsed and rinsed for over an hour, until there was nothing left to rinse.

And it was amazing how wonderful I felt after this retched abscess was drained. I felt like a completely different person.

For the rest of the week, I continued to take the penicillin and rinsing my mouth with salt water every hour to dry it out.

Yesterday, I looked inside my mouth and saw that it had completely healed.

ALLELUIA!

Today, I go see my dentist at 3:00, when he can take x-rays and then make a decision on what needs to be done with this bridge so I don’t EVER get another one of these abscesses again.

I’m at that age where the crown and bridge work I’ve had in my mouth for eons needs to be replaced.

It’s odd, because I very rarely incur illness except for teeth issues every so often. Other than that, I’m pretty healthy.

So, there you have it, folks….my week in review.

And can I just tell you? It was lovely……

The Dark Night Of The Soul - Part 2

For those of you who might be new to my blog and have not read Part 1 of this series, I ask that you scroll down and read it before reading and commenting on Part 2. Thank you.

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The book I felt so drawn to pick off the shelf was called, Dark Night Of The Soul by St. John of the Cross.

“The Dark Night of the Soul is when we are beleaguered by darkness: spiritual and mental and where no hope seems to be near and everything we try to do is thwarted. It is where the soul is forced to persist and enter into the illumination and kinship with God.

The Dark Night of the Soul refers to a time of powerfully intense internal struggling and questioning of purpose. This usually occurs just before a spiritual awakening. It is facing your demons, so to speak, and the abyss threatens to swallow you whole. If successful, the process strips away most of the ego that holds you back from seeing yourself as a pure being. It is not something that can really be sought after; it is something that occurs as it should on your path to enlightenment. It is, by definition, a terrifying yet necessary part of some people's spiritual development.”

For the first time in having moved back east, this book began to point me in the right direction to some clarity. I began to see that what I was going through on a human and physical level, had more to do with a spiritual process that was bringing me closer to what my soul wanted - to be stripped bare, so that I would have only the power of God to rely on.

Allow me to share here, that I think on some level I asked for this experience because about a year before all this happened, I was in a deep meditation one evening and clearly remember saying to God, "I want to know you. Deeply"

Do I have proof that I actually went through the dark night of the soul? No, I don’t. But I know in my heart that I did.

The dark night of the soul lasted two years for me. They say that each person experiences it in a different time span. Some longer, some shorter.

Walking through the dark night was perhaps the most frightening and vulnerable experience I have ever been through because I had to go through it alone and trust my intuition. Or rather, trust the promptings of God to lead me.

So many things happened to me during that time, which would take far too long to explain. But let’s just say everything that could possibly go wrong in my life, went wrong. Yet looking back, these things weren’t wrong….they were exactly right.

I lived day by day, moment by moment. Not knowing what was ahead, or knowing when this dark night would finally be over.

Little by little, I could feel myself gaining interior strength. I slowly began to feel lighter and clearer. I began to feel my humanness and spirit merge. I no longer felt separated. The best way I can describe this in one word would be that is was like a marriage.

A union of my soul with God.

Gradually, everything started to turn around and I regained a calm sense of spiritual stability.

You may be thinking to yourselves, “So what did walking through the dark night of the soul teach you? And how did it changed your life for the better? And how did it bring you closer to God?”

Well, you see…..

I had to know darkness, so that I would know light.

I had to go through being stripped of everything I thought was power, to learn what true power is.

I had to be totally alone, to learn that I am never alone.

I had to be blinded, in order to learn faith.

I had to learn what it was like to be small, so that I would know humbleness.

I had to learn that no matter what challenges life may toss my way, I will be provided for.

And most importantly, I had to lean what my relationship is with God.

To surrender. And to allow my purpose to be His purpose.

Now even though I went through this and learned these things, that doesn’t mean I still don’t struggle.

Also, going through this does not mean I no longer have challenges or experience fear.

However, there is a big difference in how I now struggle with challenges in my life, than how I use to struggle with them years and years ago. Because I now know that whenever I’m struggling with challenges or fear, I‘m really only struggling with my limited human mind.

And as terrifying as this experience was for me, I look back at it as one of my greatest blessings.

Because now I finally see.

That I am always loved.

And I am always safe.



Thank you all for allowing me to share a very personal part of my life’s journey with you. And for reading it with an open heart….X

The Dark Night Of The Soul - Part 1

I would like to preface this two-part series by being direct and clear about something because what I am about to share with you is very personal.

Whenever you bring up God, people sometimes feel the desire to impose their beliefs on you. For some reason the topic of God makes many people think they know the one and ONLY path.

However, I’ve been through enough in my life to realize there will never be only one path to God.

Never.

And do you know why?

Because God’s relationship with everyone is individual and resides within our own hearts, so there could never be only ONE way.

We all experience God uniquely.

And there are also a great many people in this world who don’t believe in God, and that’s okay because everyone has the right to their own beliefs.

I am sharing this experience to simply let you know what my relationship is with God, and how it came to be. Please understand I am not saying that my way is only way or that everyone needs to walk through the dark night of the soul to have a relationship with God.

This was simply my path, and something “I” had to go through because on some level I asked for it.

And I’m not sharing this to prove anything because in all honesty, I can’t prove it. I just know what I believe.

So, I ask that you respect what I am sharing with you here today, and read it with an open heart.

Thank you.

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Most of my longtime readers already know the basics of what I am about to share, but I’ve decided to reveal even more of what you already know because the experience I went through was the catalyst for my deep need to know God in a personal way.

When I first moved back east, I walked through what I then thought was hell.

Everything I thought gave me power and security was taken away. And no matter what I did to try and fix it, nothing worked.

I went through financial bankruptcy because I could not find substantial work and no longer had the means to pay my bills, or even live. My financial status just kept spiraling downward.

Luckily, through the aid of family and friends, I was able to escape being without an apartment.

I also sold my jewelry, books, and countless household items, just so I could have money to eat.

Up until this point, I would say that I lead a very ‘charmed’ life. Everything in my life went smoothly and very rarely had any bumps in the road.

Little things, but nothing major.

So, as much as I knew of other people having challenges in their lives, I never fully comprehended those challenges until they happened to me.

I’ve always believed in God, and can honestly say that I feel very close to Him, or Her. God to me, is like having a best friend. Someone I can talk to 24/7; chatting just like I would to someone if they were standing in front of me. And as much as I respect and love visiting various churches, I’ve never felt that I needed to be in one to talk to God.

As I was driving from Florida to Philadelphia back in 2001, I couldn’t help but feel that something was going to drastically change in my life. And not just a change of location, but more so a change in my relationship towards God. I was petrified, but at the same time a feeling deep inside told me that I needed this change in order to experience a closer bond.

During this challenging time of losing everything, I also lost my dear cat, Jerry. And it was at this time, I began the deepest part of my surrendering process.

I was sad, confused, lost, and absolutely furious with God.

I cursed Him, telling Him that I didn’t understand HOW he could allow all this shit to happen to me, and then to top it off, take Jerry away in the middle of it.

But even with all my cursing and damning of God, I could still feel His loving arms supporting me through my grief. This how I know that God loves us all unconditionally.

One day, right after Jerry passed away, I just so happened to walk into a bookstore, hoping to find a book on spirituality that would help me understand what I was going through.

I felt like I was actually going insane because no one I knew could understand why I continually felt the need to stay where I was and not move back to Florida, because I had obviously made a mistake in moving here - my life was falling apart. But somehow I knew, problems and all, I didn’t make a mistake. But rather sensed it was a major part of what I needed to go through in my spiritual growth.

A rite of passage.

I was at a very dark and lonely time in my life. I felt like I had no sense of purpose or direction. There were nights when I went to bed and hoped that I wouldn’t wake up in the morning. I could feel God around me, but at the same time I felt as if I was losing my connection to Him. I felt abandoned. I felt betrayed. I felt as if I was suspended over a black abyss, waiting to fall into nothingness.

I then spotted a book on one of the shelves which I was very drawn to pick up.

And as I began to read the first paragraph of the first chapter, I wept uncontrollably.

Because I had finally found some guidance in my darkness.

To be continued…..

Have a faaaaabulous weekend everyone!

X

How To Achieve An Orgasm Without Taking Your Clothes Off

Being a passionate Italian, eating food is like having really great sex because if what you're munching on is REALLY good, orgasm is possible.

And by orgasm, I actually mean those physiological tingly sensations, and audible moaning and groaning sounds we often experience while gradually climbing to that sacred place of nirvana. Except, I figured a way to achieve this without ever having to take my clothes off.

Eating food for me is a sensual experience because it involves not only my physical senses, but my emotional and spiritual senses as well.

I LOVE to eat!

This summer I've discovered something very tasty, which is a delectable fusion of sweet and salty.

Often times when I’m not super hungry, but want a little something to nosh on either between meals or later in the evening while watching a movie, I will combine two of my favorite things: apples and peanut butter.

OMG….you haven’t LIVED until you’ve tried this.

It is truly one of life’s most simple, yet richest pleasures.

Here’s what you do….

Buy a bag of pre-sliced apples. I get mine at Trader Joe’s.


Also, buy a jar of peanut butter. Preferably the natural kind because it has a smoother and more sensual texture. I also get mine at Traders Joe’s. Warning: the natural kind can be a hassle because you have to really stir it well.

Begin, by dipping an apple slice into the peanut butter; making sure to get a big ol’ blob on it, like this.

Next, slowly place the slice into your mouth.

Take it gently and savor the moment because you’ll be tempted to rush.

At this point, you will begin to feel all those familiar sensations of carnal bliss. Take your time and allow yourself to build to climactic finish.

This is how you’ll know when you’ve achieved the big “O.”

Be very careful though, because you’ll undoubtedly have the urge to immediately pop another one into your mouth - it’s highly addictive.

So, if you’re looking for a cheap, but very rewarding orgasm….try apples and peanut butter!

It's nature at its BEST.

Caution: Just be sure to try this alone because you don’t want to end up looking like me….a sensual BUFFOON!